Elections, Hillbilly style

Yes, its that time of year again. Time for all the people to get out and vote for the people they think will be best suited for the job of running the city, county, state and nation. The ones that have the best interests of those they represent in mind. Uh....yeah right! Almost cracks me up to type it, let alone think about it. If they wanted to actaully do good for the people, they wouldn't spend all that campaign money on all these ads slamming the competiton but instead, they would use the time to tell us how they are going to fix everything...then actually follow through with it. See, you think its funny too.

This is where big city politics and little town politics differ. Or at least it used to back when I lived in a little town. Most if not all the people running for the various offices did it for the perks and the power. They knew it, we knew it, everyone was happy. In the county elections, oh about 3 months or so before an election, you would start seeing blacktop driveways, or for those that were way out, plenty of fresh gravel leading up to the house. If the driveway was already in good shape, you would see trees cut, land cleared or just what ever needed done. The amount of work done was always directly porportional to the number of people in the family (above voting age that is). If you lived in the town, where there wasn't a real need for blacktop and such, you could rely on those running to feed you a lot (pig roast, fish fry's, etc.) and get little Timmy or sweet Suzy out of trouble when they got a ticket or got arrested.

So while I am sure they might have done something good for the area a time or two, they ran and we elected them mainly for the perks. We didn't have to sit and listen to hours of bullshit about why they were the better person and the other was a evil son of a bitch and we liked it that way. We didn't have to find out that 20 years ago, in a drunken stupor, one of them mentioned that he once uttered the n- word nor did we have to find out, in a stunning revelation, that the current elected official once experimented with some mind altering substance on a dare (and even inhaled oh my!)

So, for all you out there thinking of who to vote for, look at it the hillbilly way. No one is going to spend 1 million dollars on a election campaign for a job that only pays 50 thousand a year only because they want to help those they represent. Hell, if thats the case, they would just give everyone an equal share of the million and get elected for sure! Just go out and vote for the person that you think can get you out of trouble, get your driveway blacktopped or that can roast a pig better than the other guy. You will get a lot more for you vote in the end.

On a side note, Socrates (you know, the old guy from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure) once said that no person should be alowed to govern that shows interest in doing so. Hmmm, wonder if he was on to something way back then....