Recently, a friend of mine wrote a nice blog on virginity and how it is viewed in her home country, which by the way, is very similar to the way county folk see it still today. That is....a wife should come in to a marriage untouched...pure as the driven snow...she should be able to wear a white dress with out the old ladies in the back of the Church whispering as she walks by that it should have been flaming red....you know...she should be a virgin.
Now I am not real sure where this custom of the brides purity came from but I imagine that it was either made up by some real insecure men way back or by the puritanical views of the old churchs. Don't really know, don't really care. But for as long as I can remember, its always been expected that the woman be untouched "there" for her to be able to land a good, respectable fellow. Well, I hate to break it to you but well.....thats just Bull shit!
Allow me to explain....
Myth 1:
Men want to marry a woman that is a virgin.
Fact 1:
Men want to marry a woman that will rock his world! Yeah, all that crap about men wanting to be Captain Kirk and go where no man has gone before lasts about as long as it takes to get naked...if that long. I mean think about it for a second. Most men spend a significant amount of time watching porn, reading porn and then watching some more porn. Not me of course, I have too much research to do..but I digress. So, given the choice between a wife that is well versed in all the latest positions, multi talented and a porn star wanna be or a hymen....which do you think we really want as a wedding present?
Myth 2:
Women should wait and share that first moment of love making with the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with.
Fact 2:
The first time (aka deflowering) is going to awkward, painful, uncomfortable, messy, scary and probably one if not the worst sex you will ever have. (I remember my first time just like that..and she laughed at me! but thats another story lol). Does a woman really want that memory etched into her mind as being caused by the man she loves? Not a good way to start things off in my opinion.
So ladies, the bottom line is that if you are saving yourself because of a personal conviction or cause you just aren't ready, then more power to you. If you have strong religious beliefs and thats the way you feel, I don't blame you a bit. But ladies, if you are only saving it as a gift to your fellow on that special honeymoon night so he can feel like Christopher Columbus, forget about it. Instead, go out and hook up a time or two to see what goes where and watch some good net porn (google has save many a relationship I bet). Then, on that special night, start with a shy "oh my, thats not gonna fit" then a obligatory "ouch" delivered with precision timing and whisper in his ear "I am so glad I waited for you". Then, with a wicked grin, roll over on him and ride him until his eyes roll back in his head and he passes out gasping for air.
Then and only then will you have given him the greatest gift a bride can give a husband.....
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7 comments:
Nice post :)
I would think of it as a matter of personal choice, something that should be for the girl and her guy to decide, how comfortable they are, which, then again in the Indian society is influenced in part, by social expectations.
She laughed at the master?? Can I have her number?
roll over on him and ride him until his eyes roll back in his head and he passes out gasping for air Oh My... point noted..
@ Sunshine - the whole point of both my and Scott's post is that it is a matter of personal choice. But the important point is that you decide - not let society dictate your life.
nice post Scott. AS U ans Sakshi have pointed out, its ur decision and not a soceity or a religion to tell u what to do.
@sunshine. Not sure what social expectations u are taking about. That a girl should be virgin. But the why doesn't same society say a guy should be virgin too. Its just some lame rules made in old days. It has to be a individual decision.
@Sunshine, go by your social expectations, hope no one stops you!
@Scott, great views! Agree with you !
However, dont you think it would be nice if you could stop speaking on behalf of all 'men'? Coz there will be some(weird men) who get turned on by celibacy and you dont want to step on their toes, do you? Or are you the official spokesperson of the All-Earth United Male Homosapiens Society?
But...when the minister says 'you may now kiss the bride' do you want to think about what other cocks have ejaculated in there? Why don't you just go lick the floor of a public restroom? Do you really want to tell your kids 'your mother swallows like a champ?' Do you want to tell your daughter 'Don't worry that Johnny took your virginity like the whore you are...your mom's a whore too ... you can talk to her next week at her house'
Haven't had time to check here in a while but it looks as if I missed some replies.
@ Jason. I think I do speak for "all" men. Of course there will be exceptions to the rule, but as a whole, I think most would agree. And if celibacy turns you or anothers on, thats only because you haven'....oh never mind.
@ anon.... Interesting post. Personally, I try not to think such homo erotic thoughts myself. Its just not my thing. An dare you saying that if your sig. other orally pleases you, you should then go lick the floor of your own restroom? Or what if you show off your oral talents on a lady that is less than "pure", should you then go smoke the peace pipe of those before you?
Any to go as far as equating pre-marital sex with the woman being a whore....thats a bit harsh. You seem to have some anger issues concerning women in general and with the mention of "mother" and "daughter", that troubles me.
Anyway, just thought I would respond in the event this was ever revisited.
Hey anonymous, your a real idiot. You obviously have no respect for women and their choices. If a women is sexually active before her marriage it is up to her. And what if the dude has had sexual experience? You could inversely say that kissing HIM is like licking the bathroom floor. Marriage is not about the past choices or mistakes or previous experiences. Marriage is about finding the one you connect to on a deep level.
Too many people honestly put virginity on a pedestal as the holy gift a woman gives a man. Thats bull. The best gift a woman can give a man is her devotion and love, sex is supplemental. It helps, but its definitely not crucial. Ive seen too many people rush in to marriage (whether they will admit it or not) for SEX. NO NO NO. In my humble opinion you should know everything about your partner before you go into marriage. You should be able to live your life and experience the world before settling down with someone. People who get married younger are almost always unhappy eventually. I know so many people who have gotten married young, divorced and had to deal with so much crap. My parents got married in their mid thirties. They were each other's first marriage, and they have been happily together for over 20 years.
Bottom line: despite claims, the big preserving of sex before marriage makes the marriage more about sex. This is a mistake, marriage means far more than just sex.
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